My friend and I were sitting in the lounge of the hostel. The sounds of Dublin's Temple Bar poured in through the open window, the chatter of youth wandering through the narrow cobblestone street below, young men shouting at young women. A man stumbles in, sounding almost Scottish. "What are you ladies doing tonight?" We glance up, tired. We had just returned from a week in the country and were content to stay indoors. "Why don't you go out drinking with me?" We politely declined. "You from the U.S.?" We nod. "You came all the way to Ireland to skip the bar?" Maybe it was the use of the word "bar," but both my friend and I wore the face of skepticism, doubt that shone through our narrowed eyes. The man then said. "I'm just kidding… I'm from Wisconsin… But, seriously, why don't you come out drinking with us?" I didn't want to tell him the list of reasons I had, beginning with, "Why do I want to go to Ireland to have a drink with some schmuck from Wisconsin who pretends he's Irish?"

To say "Irish" is to stimulate a network of associative connections in the brain: drinking, Guinness, fighting Irish, hot temper, gift of gab, green, leprechauns, lucky charms, potatoes. These associations most likely made, for most of us, over a course of Saint Patrick's Days: drunken tomfoolery, where we pinch each other for not wearing green, drink excessively and wear flashing buttons that instruct: "Kiss me, I'm Irish." And I saw many a young American in Ireland swinging a beer glass in honor of this stereotype.

What Mr. Wisconsin and his swinging glass have seemed to forget is the noble root of the American notion of Irish culture. Most of us have heard the incredible story of the Irish immigrant during the potato famine of the 1850s, however simplified: droves of Irish land on American shores seeking a new life, some relief from starvation, and arrive to find they occupy one of the last rungs on the social ladder. Employment ads contain the phrase "No Irish Need Apply." They are quickly termed "White Negroes." Caught between a country that could not support them and one that did not want them, the Irish had little choice, but to fight. They fought the draft lottery in New York City. They fought unfair treatment of Irish employees by mine owners in Pennsylvania. And, finally, they fought in the Civil War. By the time the Civil War ended, the Irish were honored men, taking up political office, having parades in the same cities that shunned them just 20 years earlier. They were stubborn, fierce, proud and unflinching in their pursuit of a better life. It's hard to think of another immigrant group in this country that experienced such a pronounced and rapid ascension of social ranks.

Over the years, Americans have forgotten the circumstances that created the "Fighting Irish," and have taken it, along with a list of other minimizing cultural misnomers, like a suitcase overseas seeking a 24/7 Saint Paddy's Day. Mr. Wisconsin clearly had some baggage. I asked him, "Why did you come to Ireland? To drink?" "No," he explained, "I read James Joyce. I like Guinness. I have an Irish name…and Irish liver," he laughed heartily, but he also revealed he wasn't going to go anywhere but Temple Bar, Dublin (a place over-run with tourists, known for its drinking and party atmosphere), so I'm not sure how much of Ireland he really wanted to know-perhaps, only the part he had packed up and brought with him.

I find that breaking through stereotypes to discover culture while traveling is something like building muscle: You must create tiny tears in the tissue so it can be rebuilt stronger. It's work. I have to admit that I found no place as difficult to achieve this in as Ireland. I returned, knowing I had not emptied my suitcase of Irish stereotypes, and so I have enlisted the help of Tom Quinn Kumpf, Irish-American author and photographer who knows both sides of the pond quite well (and has the pictures to prove it) to help.

The Unpacking List

Item 1:
Memories of American
Saint Patrick's Day Celebrations

"It amazes me how many Americans are stuck on the idea that violence, hot temperedness, alcoholism, and an inability to forgive others for injustices of the past are the true marks of an Irishman," Tom said, when I asked about false stereotypes regarding the Irish. "The facts are that most publicans [owners of Pubs, or simply what we call "Bartenders" in America] will not tolerate shouting let alone fighting in the pub…The local pub provides food, drink, and entertainment, and are places where neighbors, including the children, meet for sport, gossip, and banter."

In fact, "Pub" is shorthand for "Public House," and so when traveling to Ireland, be sure to visit the local pub, but keep in mind this is a place of community and good behavior and conversation. You'll be sure to find some hearty local cuisine, along with some hearty local company, approach both respectfully just as you would visiting a neighbor for dinner, and you'll have much better luck than you would wearing a flashing button.

Item 2:
The Lucky Charms Leprechaun

For most Americans Irish history begins with the Easter Rising. For the Irish, it begins in an ancient and powerful mythology. Disabuse yourself of rainbows bending towards glittering pots of gold, guarded by fierce, bearded, magical, two-foot-tall folk called leprechauns. All fairy dust should be stripped from your mind, and replaced with the knowledge that Irish mythology is as valid and historically significant to the Irish as Greek mythology is to the Greek. A traveler who opened a conversation in a bar in Athens with, "Have you seen Zeus, lately?" would probably receive a disdainful look in reply, a local confused and wondering if the tourist was simply making fun of them or their cultural history. Unlike Greek mythology, Irish myth is more of a living history, a bridge between the past and present people built by storytellers and writers. And, as Tom explains, "As the Romans never found the courage to chance an invasion of Ireland, Irish Mythology was left unchanged and represents some of the purest indigenous stories in all of Europe."

"Irish mythology is still taught in the schools as a very real part of history," Tom shared, "and the creatures we in the U.S. think of as cute, flirtatious tiny beings are actually the descendants of the Tuatha de Danann, a race of giant warriors and wizards with the power to help or hinder humans even to the point of death." Tom warns, "'Fairy Faith' is still alive in many parts of Ireland and even if the person you're speaking claims no belief in fairies, respect for the Other World‚ still runs strong. Ask about such things only after other conversation has demonstrated that you are respectful of beliefs and old practices. Making light of such things is commonly considered insulting and makes you appear a fool."

For those interested in visiting Ireland's numerous prehistoric sites, like Newgrange, (a 5,000-year-old megalithic passage tomb, located five miles west of the town of Drogheda) a precursory knowledge of Irish mythology aids in understanding the immense significance of the place.

Item 3:
The Pastoral Image of an Impoverished Farmer Walking His Sheep Along the Road

Okay, a tourist will see this from time to time in Ireland, but I suspect it's at a far less frequency than the sheep viewing that could have been had ten or more years ago. Ireland is currently enjoying an economic boom, and has been coined the "Silicon Valley of Europe." For the first time in its history, home ownership is a real possibility and younger generations have reason to stay in country, instead of exporting their talents and expertise to healthier economies.

Along with a healthier economy comes a higher price, but resist the temptation to haggle and bargain for better rates at the B&B. Keep in mind that Ireland fought for the right to own land for hundreds of years, and this makes home ownership a point of pride, which means haggling at a B&B (a home run business) is offensive and disrespects the rules of the house. Tom adds, "Being the woman of the house means something . . . it is her home and she is boss," so be sure to be respectful of her family and home.

Item 4:
North and South is only a Border

Of course most of us know that this isn't quite true, and are somewhat aware of the political struggles that divide Northern Ireland from Southern Ireland. However, the recent troubles in the North are a sensitive topic and not to be discussed lightly. "The Troubles these past three decades are complex, sensitive, and have damaged far too many lives," Tom shares, and advises the visitor to Northern Ireland to only bring up these sensitive issues, if they have a thorough knowledge of the finer points of the conflict, and a genuine interest in its history. A great way to gain some insight into the conflict, Tom adds, is to take the Black Taxi Tour around Belfast.

The Packing List

Equipped with the following things, a traveler should be able to build their Irish muscle and discover Ireland on Ireland's terms.

Patience

One must bring a supply of patience. Patience for the slow pour of Guinness (no, the bartender is not ignoring you). Patience in conversation. It may take awhile for a local to finish sizing you up and engage in conversation. This is normal.

Understanding

Like any culture, the Irish expect their culture, their history and beliefs to be approached respectfully.

Camera

Ireland is enormously photogenic. The west and north coasts are legendary for their steep cliffs and dramatic scenery. However, Tom Quinn Kumpf warns, "Don't take photos of locals without first asking their permission. Some may seem shy, others may ignore, or they may have real and genuine concerns about being photographed. Either way, one's personal dignity is important to respect no matter where you are. It is never a good policy to offend, so always ask first."

Knowledge

Of course, I must recommend Children of Belfast and Ireland and From Stones to Stormont, by Tom Quinn Kumpf. Both offer excellent insight into Irish culture and history. They also include outstanding photographs of Ireland's people and places. In addition, Kumpf also recommends: Meeting the Other Crowd, by Eddie Lenihan, a series of short, "realistic" fairy tales; Falls Memories, by Gerry Adams, personal stories of growing up in West Belfast by the current President of Sinn Fein, the political arm of the IRA; The Story of the Irish Race, by Seumas MacManus, a brief, though comprehensive look at the history of Ireland.